Dreams by the Dozen
I have incredibly weird dreams. When I tell people about them, they usually look at me like I'm psychotic. So I'm going to start posting whatever I can remember in this blog from now on.
Last night I pretty much passed out after a night of drinking which always results in a dreamless (or what feels like dreamless) night.
The night before I had a dream about Lord, a comedian I do web design for. Unfortunately, I don't remember much except that I was annoying him. I've never even met the guy, but in my dream I had and I was just pestering him and he couldn't get away from me because I kept following him around like paparazzi on Britney Spears. Hmmm...
I also dreamed (in a separate dream) that I was yelling at somebody and, in the process of yelling, was also doing some job that required me to empty buckets. Off to my left was a guy I used to work with a couple of years ago. He was all dressed up in a suit and tie and so forth. So as I'm yelling, I'm emptying these buckets of water. And each time I pitch the water out of the bucket it lands on this guy in the suit. Each time after I do so I apologize profusely - "I'm sorry, omigod, I can't believe I just did that." Then I continue yelling at this other person, and again pitch another bucket of water off to my left, right on the guy in the suit and go through the same thing - "Omigod, I'm so sorry". That was it. End of dream.
These certainly are not the weirdest of dreams I've had. The last really wierd one I recall involved me growing a third eye - it grew straight out of my upper cheek, right below my left eye, on a cartlidge-like piece of flesh about a 1/8 inch thick and almost an inch long. At the end of the cartlidge-thing was my third eyeball. It kind of bounced around just beneath and off to the side of my actual left eye. I just woke up one morning and there it was. However, the show must go one. I put on an Uncle Sam outfit and got on stilts and participated in a group dance with about 100 other people also all dressed in Uncle Sam outfits and on stilts. Makes ya think; doesn't it?
On a more grotesque level of dreaming - a few weeks ago I had this one - involving my dear old grandma. In this dream, she lived in the attic above my parents' house. In the dream, that's also where my old bedroom used to be - in the attic. We were sitting around the table (me, my mom, and I'm not sure who else). Suddenly, I look in the closet (this is where the attic door is in the ceiling), and my grandma is lying there mangled and dead. In my dream, she fell through the attic door and landed at the bottom of the closet. That's all I can recall about that one. Very disturbing.
I remember this dream from when I was about 15 years old. In my dream, I was sleeping and woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of the microwave running downstairs. This seemed peculiar because everyone in the house was sleeping. So I went downstairs and, lo and behold, the microwaved was on. I opened the door and my old pet cat, Blackie, jumped out at me. Her eyes were covered with this cataract-looking film and she was basically cooked. That one really disturbed me at the time.
The oldest dream I had that I don't think I'll ever forget is this. I had this one when I was about 5 years old. I lived in a trailer with my mom. My grandparents were coming over to visit us that night. After they arrived, someone else knocked on the door. I opened it up and there was a dinosaur. My grandparents then proceeded to kick the dinosaur's ass. Somehow we got the dinosaur bound and then we tied him up to a telephone pole in our back yard - the way you would tie a pig or something to a pole - around the neck and around the legs. I'm not sure if we cooked it and ate it or exactly what happened after that.
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